Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A Scenario:

I want to know a girl who is attracted to me for a very businesslike reason. I want her to be mortally dependent upon receiving my warmth. Not to say that it's going to require anything particularly out of the ordinary, maybe a night spent accidentally locked in a workplace freezer/fridge. I guess, actually, I want a girl who has good reason to believe that she is mortally dependent upon receiving my warmth, but does not necessarily have to be. We'd be in this goddamn freezer (did I mention she has HUGE eyeballs) and she'd get real worried and right there at the top of the list of precautions to be taken immediately would be "Body-Heat-Preservation and Reinforcement". However this went down, it would involve one sitting very close to this freakishly beautiful girl and getting to notice all the finer movements of humans without having to look at oneself in a mirror. The curl of the lip, the twitch of the eye, the whizzing exhale of the nose.... okay, apparently I'm also feeling kind of lysergic in this scenario, but I swear i'm not actually tripping at the time. No, we'll say it's one of the really unfortunate aspects of the situation that my stash happens to be just outside the freezer in my backpack.

Oh, but the point being, that i have no idea how people get together without history (a long string of common prior events) or the shared delusion, what I'll call fantasy (inspired by intense coincidence/luck/physics?). I guess I thought the whole "need for warmth" concept would be a pretty indellible coincidence. This is certainly a weird time for history-building. Currently my most up to do date auto/biographical knowledge is contained in some late-night digital scribblings for those eyes which should fall upon this blog, and in the mind of an only child who has come to consider me something of a surrogate brother. All the female perspectives on Peter Johnson that I can imagine right now are pretty odd, pretty disjointed, and pretty vague. A good stiff coincidence could clear that right up... Vivan the shared delusion of significance and the willing mutual suspension of disbelief!

1 comment:

Ty said...

That sentiment feels very familiar...explore that emotion. Break it down into little chunks and swallow them one by one. They taste good and justify any means to an end in the meantime. The endtime. Quite the opposite of the endmean, you'll find, is the beginningchance. Chaos!